Our military children struck me particularly hard this year - because they aren't all children anymore.
Think about it. All those "deployment babies" we winked and nodded over as members left for war in 2001 and came home in 2002 will be getting their drivers licenses this year.
They are nearly adults, yet in many ways they have been adults for a long time. Military life in general can be hard on kids - moving every few years, being far from extended family, knowing your parent's job always comes first.
Add to that 16 years of war. For their ENTIRE lives, these children watched their parents train for and then leave on deployments - now totalling 4, 6, 8 or more. They have spent an enormous percentage of their lives waiting and praying for Dad or Mom to come home safe. They have looked after younger siblings, looked after the remaining parent, taken on chores and worries no 15 year old should have to comprehend.
When they are little, most children know Dad is gone but they are shielded from the reality of war. Eventually, though, they know. They watch the news and hear the chatter. They know Mom is at risk even if she isn't a front-line soldier.
The best known parenting advice in the Bible tells us to train our children according to God's will. But I have to wonder in this environment, what are we teaching our kids?
In the best cases, they are resilient, patriotic and service-minded. That is certainly true of most military kids I know - they are amazing.
At worst, they are closed off and feel abandoned. Indeed, research shows military children are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, behavior problems and even substance abuse than civilian kids. The risk of maltreatment also escalates, when the remaining parent can't cope with stress.
The Department of Defense knows this, and it has tried to instill programs and training and awareness campaigns to build resilience and ensure stability in families. I commend them for that, but it is not a solution.
As conflicts continue to simmer around the world, and politicians throw around antagonizing words, please think about our kids. They did not ask for this. We do not yet know how it will change them as adults. I hope it is for the good.
In the meantime, spouses and families will be strong and work together and fill in the holes left by a parent missing ball games, holidays, and teaching you to drive.
