Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Introvert in an Extrovert job

"Jesus would often slip away into the wilderness and pray." - Luke 5:16

Jesus was the ultimate introvert in and extrovert's job. He wanted to be with the people and understood that as his calling, but knew the importance of sometimes stepping back and being alone.

A few years ago, I took the Myers-Briggs for work. My introvert result was no surprise, but even I was taken aback by how far it went. I had zero extrovert points, as in I might have been happy as a cloistered nun.

This is not to say I don't like people. I've made my career talking to people and listening to their stories, and I love it. But it's exhausting. After a few hours of people, I'm ready to slip away into the wilderness too.

Well, for most of the last two months we have lived in one room (yay! we finally made it to the house!). Since being in the house, I'm still a stay-at-home mom of a an extroverted 3-year-old. The Kindergartens here all have wait lists, so while we wait, the munchkin and I have lots of together time, with very little wilderness to be found. Of all the challenges this move has presented, this is the hardest for me.

I take comfort knowing Jesus sometimes had to escape too, so I shouldn't have to feel guilty. Jesus also gives the example of what to do -- pray. I'm still trying to figure out how. Today, I'm saying a prayer of thanksgiving that the little one decided to take a nap, which is a rare thing.

So, I come to you. How do you introverts find time to recharge in busy days?

Monday, July 13, 2015

Babel Continues

"There the Lord confused the speech of all the world. From there the Lord scattered them all over the Earth." Gen. 11:9

Everyone speaks English, they said. You won't have to worry about the language at all, they said.

They were only partly correct. Everyone learned English -- just like I "learned" French in high school. But I'll have my phrasebook out just like the next tourist when we make it to Paris.

We haven't had much problem getting by in rural Germany as long as I can see the numbers on the cash register. We've learned enough to decipher a menu, and thank God the order of the Mass (usually) doesn't change.

The language barrier has led to a few awkward moments. Another time, I let my 3-year-old pick out some sausage from a market vendor. Somehow "leberwurst" did not translate into "liverwurst" in my head, and I bought it. She cringed at the mushy, pink stuff at first, but after a little prodding and reminder that she picked it out, she ate it by the forkfull!

More than anything though - I totally understand the Tower of Babel. As I child, it always struck me as kind of a funny story. Did those people actually think they could be greater than God? Scripture is a little hazy on their exact sin, but it does say they wanted to "make a name for themselves." (Gen. 11:4) And that idea disturbed God.

So he decided to "confuse their language," so they could no longer continue their self-aggrandizing plan. I now see exactly how that works. When you can't communicate, even the smallest tasks like buying bread become more complicated, much less trying to negotiate rent or enroll my daughter in school. I am acutely aware that I am in someone else's world, and I have to humbly ask for a lot more help than normal. Pride and independence has to take a backseat.

Even more frustrating is I can't help other people. One of the larger thoroughfares in town is closed for construction, and twice in the last week someone has stopped me to ask for directions. But aside from pointing, I can't really tell them where to go even though I know perfectly well. I'm not sure that's what God wanted from the Tower of Babel. 

Maybe the whole story is a reminder that in the beginning we did speak the same language because we do need each other. We just have to approach each other with a little more humility and openness to make things happen.


 

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Finding freedom

"Where the spirit of The Lord is, there is freedom." - 2 Cor. 3:17

This verse has pulled me through some tough decisions in the past, but I saw it in a new way this weekend as we gathered with the International community here for American Independence Day. With food, games and fireworks, we gathered far from home but celebrated - and shared - the best of America.

Americans like to think we have a monopoly on freedom, and we certainly institutionalized it in a new way. But we didn't invent it. God wanted us to be free from the beginning. He planned for us to live in harmony with him, each other and the Earth.

Unfortunately, we got in the way of that plan. So we constantly try to create systems and laws and structures that re-create the gift God gave us in the beginning.

Saturday evening though, I was reminded that simplicity leads us back to that place of freedom. Our outpost here is pretty remote from all things America. And our American community is about 35 families who wanted to share America with our NATO friends. Our celebration looked like every church/community picnic you've ever attended. The kids ran in the sprinklers, threw water balloons and jumped in bounce houses. Teens kicked soccer balls and giggles awkwardly at members of the opposite sex. Adults chatted over beers, listened to great music and played a little corn hole. After the sun finally went down, we settled with our families on the lawn and oohed and aaahed at fireworks.

This is what freedom looks like. It's having our basic needs met. It's having a caring community of people who may or may not look like you. It's being able to share stories and experiences and speak your mind without fear.

That is what our founding fathers wanted. That is what God wanted. May he continue to bless America.

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Together for Father's Day

"The just walk in integrity; happy are their children after them!" - Proverbs 20:7

For the first time since he became a father, Joey actually was home on Father's Day. If I was a better wife, I would have planned ahead for some gift or cards, but in the craziness of the last few weeks it didn't happen. Instead, we got to enjoy just being together and exploring our new region - and I think that was OK with him, especially since it involved amazing waffles.

At the same time, this move clearly demonstrated the amazing man and father he is. From the beginning, his concern was for our family and how we would all adjust. He took the lead on all the plans and coordination and getting the house ready. When it came time to execute, he made it easy for  the rest of us to follow the plan.

When our plans took a turn in Chicago, forcing us to travel separately to Germany, he made sure I knew he believed in me and everything would be fine.

That's what the head of a household looks like. He takes on the tough jobs and empowers his wife to take on the rest. He doesn't make unilateral decisions, but takes the lead on walking our family through them. He accepts input and admits when he needs help. As an independent woman, it can be hard to step back, but then I have to remember all he does is for the rest of us.

I hope our daughter finds someone just like him.


Saturday, June 20, 2015

All we have is faith

Note: I wrote this on the plane yesterday and I'll just leave it as is. When I'm a little more recovered form jet lag I'll write about the first couple days.

"We walk by faith and not by sight." 2 Cor. 5:7

As we boarded the plane today, the words from Sunday's second reading rang particularly true. We don't really know anyone in the town we will be staying in Germany. We don't speak any German. We don't have a place to live. All of our worldly belongings - the things that make a place feel like home - and even the practical things like pots and pans are on a ship for the next 8 weeks or so.

All we can do is trust in God - that he has a reason for this move. We trust that he will send us people to help - and he already has.

Doing that as our plans take a turn is harder than it sounds. This move has made me realize the importance of my daily prayer life, which has largely been lacking, unless you count those said with our 3 year old at night.

Maintaining faith when your world turns upside down is no doubt easier if I practiced that daily prayer and commitment to Gods will. So I plan to start here on the plane. I ask St. Christopher to pray for us we travel and I ask God to help me use this journey as a way to get closer to him.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Go Forth

moving van
"Go forth from your land, from your relatives and from your father's house to a land that I will show you."  - Gen. 12.1

The whole of Western Civilization begins with this order dropped on Abram from God without warning or invitation as far as we know.

You have to wonder what was Abram thinking? He was apparently a man of some success and means, with a wife and livestock and servants. You can't just up and move all that to an unknown location, right? The Bible doesn't tell us that. It just says he went.

Because when God -- or in my case the Air Force -- says go, you do.

While I certainly don't claim to be the start of a new chapter of civilization, I have felt a new kinship with Abram in the months since my husband's new assignment dropped.

Like Abram, we had little warning. The email showed up and in its government style, said without fanfare: You will go to Germany and be here by this date. Make it happen.

It didn't matter that we spent 13 years in one place, or that I had a career or that we had just remodeled our kitchen. All we knew was the Air Force decided they need Joey in Germany.

At least Abram received some promises from God: "I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you." (Gen. 12:2) The Air Force only promises to keep paying us - which I'll take. It is our challenge to trust that God has great plans for us to serve, to grow, and to carry his mission forward to the people and places we'll go.

In this space, I hope to chronicle this new adventure. It will be a little bit travel, a little expat, a little MilSpouse and a little mom blog - all through the lens of faith.

I sit in a hotel room tonight, with my belongings packed, thanking God for this challenge, and praying we can fulfill our part of his plan. Thank you for being part of it.